Family

I grew up not knowing my father, as many kids do now days. I would often ask my mother about him and due to such a bad past, she would detour the conversation, every time. I was lucky enough to be raised with a huge extended family and God-Parents who have looked out for me, but as a kid it's never enough. It's the unknown, especially when it comes to someone who was apart in bringing you into this world. When I got to be eighteen, I reached out to some connections and obtained my bio father's number. I called him, only to hear rejection. It seemed that day, was the first heart break I ever felt from a man. Someone, I made excuses for, and told myself it had to be my fault in some way or another for his absence in my life.
   However, through life's twists and turns I still kept hope for him. Only to find out ten years later on Ancestry.com that  he had died a year after that one and only call I made to him. I cried, even though I never met the man. It was final, I would never meet him, know him, see him for myself. I found out I had a sister and a brother. As a kid, I think I knew that I had one sibling from a slip of privacy breach. I reached out and connected it was great for the first newness of information. However, it seems as though my cousins are more like my long lost siblings then the real ones. I relate to them more, talk to them more and stay in contact with them. As for my sibling, it's just blood in my veins that makes us related. I wish I could be of some type of help, support or friend to either. But I have learned many years ago, a relationship built between two people, not one. So for now, I have two sisters who are my cousins.